Holy Crap ...

I feel like every time I blog I begin with the thought about how long it has been since the last time I posted ... but every time it's true. So, next time it's my goal to post sooner, damn it!

Anyhow ... I've been slacking. I hate it. It's only been this past week really. It's my recovery week, but frankly it's been my off week. I worked out the 3rd and my next one was the 10th. That's ridiculous! There is no real reason why I didn't ... but I made an excuse everyday. And that makes me sick! I've always made excuses as to why I don't do anything to get healthy, and I'm not going to let myself fall back into that now. I did start working full time at work (after being part time throughout college) so by the end of the day I was wiped out. But that's NO EXCUSE! So, I completed my workout yesterday and today, and I will tomorrow. And on Tuesday I will begin month 2 strong! In the past I would just have given up after slacking for a week and left it at that ... but now I'm not content with doing that. That week is in the past, and I just need to keep pushing forward from here.

What really concerns me though is my eating habits. I can do really well one day, but the next all I want to do is eat poorly. Honestly I didn't think of this until right now, but maybe it's a lack of some nutrient that makes me crave naughty foods. I haven't been taking my vitamin regularly ... maybe they'll help. But anyhow, I have a problem where I can't say no to naughty foods ... I just can't! I can hold off for a while, but I always eventually give in. And then I feel like a failure. I'm addicted to the way I ate for years, and it is so hard to change. I was doing really well when I wrote down everything I ate, then I stopped and it went downhill from there. See? I can see the things that help me succeed but they're just things that I can't/don't stick with. I don't know why when I know it works .... I just don't know about myself sometimes ...